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আস্সালামু আলাইকুম

I'm scrambling around Ohare as of the time this becomes published, where I’ll be for the next 7 hours. 

I hope and pray Allah is filling your heart with peace, joy, and love. Starting 2025 with a message from you filled my heart with immense joy and purpose.

"Knowing the mouse might one day leave its hole and get the cheese..."

I don't know if it is appropriate to message you further... I long for the days when we'd send "wyd? messages. I love reading, and I miss talking to you and hearing your perspective. I love the way you see the world, and I'm beginning to feel like I say things worth hearing and sharing as well. Without your voice it often feels as if music were silenced. Without directly knowing you're happy, my faith turns to the only direction to which faith can be measured. 

I am under the impression I should not message you before February (and I'm not even sure it's still on the table. No matter what, I can hope, cope and understand), I am excited that very soon I will be able to start working again and earning money. Fingers crossed: my first paycheck will arrive before Valentine's Day. If m'lady finds it amenable, I would send for a porter to deliver a gift thither to your abode. 

A couple months ago I learned about Narrative-Based Therapy, and exercises with that have been helpful as I try to reestablish qualities in myself that withered. I wrote you a detailed letter about it: how I've made strides against the toxic biases and convictions that helped me throw away our life.

"I spent the whole day in my head, do a little spring cleaning."

A letter like that is definitely too much to throw at you without your consent. I really don't want to intrude and demand your presence or attention. Just because I present a different man today, it doesn't erase the harm and damage I can and did do. It reminds me of how I see my father and I.

If you'd like the letter is stamped and ready to be mailed, whenever, if ever. It’s also colored for you convenience.

I love you and I miss you. I'll pray for you always. Precious darling bb.

Z


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