Ramadan Mubarak

 Dearest Love,

Ramadan Mubarak! InshaAllah you are doing well, staying on the deen, and finding happiness. I pray this Ramadan is easier for you. I'm so sorry that I was not more supportive during our Ramadan's together. In those times I was so unhealthy with my diet, mind, body that I did not respect how difficult it was for a normal person like yourself. I'm sorry for not being a better partner for you. I want to lift you up and help you through your problems, not shrug them off and pretend like you're strange and I'm fine.

Now that I am maintaining a healthier lifestyle I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about fasting. Focusing on muscle growth, I'm afraid I won't be able to continue working out and get my calories. I've made a plan, though, may Allah allow me on the right path. 

For this Ramadan I want to start doing some Sunnah prayers, and making extra duaa for you. I hope this year the burden isn't as strong as it once was. I wish we could face this Ramadan together. I miss you like crazy. Last week I didn't take my meds for three days in a row, and I experienced some significant continuation syndrome. I broke down at work and cried for half an hour in a secluded place. It hurt a lot, but if my tears could drown the land between you and I, then I would cry until it's time to build a raft. 

I want us to come home. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry if Ramadan is difficult for you. Thank you for posting music to your channel. It's lovely to hear, though I often have to fight tears from welling up.

If ever I can send you a gift, money, anything, please let me know. If anything you could give the money to charity and get a tax write-off. 

Forever in waiting,

BB

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