12 Feet Down

 Assalamu alaykum dearest beloved, I hope you are doing well. I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving, that you were able to spend it with your loved ones who love you. I know how important family Thanksgivings are to you; I remember your stories about how good the cooking was. I'm sorry for keeping you away from them, or them away from you. I always hoped I could've spent Thanksgiving with you, that we could cook a big turkey and a bunch of sides and appetizers. InshaAllah :') I've been wanting to write to you desperately since seeing your text asking me where I am going. I know it is not much, but it filled me with such happiness and joy to see words from you and to read them in your voice. It brings a tear to my eyes even now thinking about it. I haven't felt that good in months, honestly. And when you texted asking if I had your Switch, it was as if a warm bolt of happiness had struck thru to my heart. I felt giddy and anxious-- how do I respond? what do I say? ...

 Assalamu Alaykum Darling, Missing you dearly this cold evening. I'm sorry for the pain and hurt you may be feeling. I hope Allah has answered my dua for you, that you are doing well.  I want to tell you I found a job. After having applied to so many jobs here in America, in my homestate, online, I found a job abroad and I fear I must take it. It's not teaching English for profit, Alhamdulillah, but it is teaching English. I wish I could've found a different job, something that would allow me to stay in America, but it eludes me. I at least find comfort in it being a job teaching at a university, for underserved communities in a country I don't think you'd expect. At the very least, I will be happy to be in a Muslim country.  But it is abroad, and I am terrified. I miss you much and wish desperately we could repair things. I don't think it will be any easier when I am on the other side of the world. Yet, I need money to do things, to buy you flowers, clothes, gi...