Cold Night

Dear bb,

On this cold night I dream again of you. Laying under these blankets I imagine the shape of you: your beautiful body, full hips, soft skin pressed against mine. I remember your warmth, your love. I imagine the sweet scent of your hair underneath my nose, the adorable way you shiver. I hold you tight and you push yourself against me. My precious darling, your loving embrace. You keep me warm, I keep you warm-- the way it should be. Inshallah the way it will be. For now, I will hold on to the heat of our memories. Let it warm me, you.

Forever grateful to have been yours, forever regretful to have lost you. I am sorry bb that we must spend our cold nights alone. Sorry.

With love and care,

Yours.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sorry, Quick

Waiting for 4th and final plane ride now. I’m sorry again for everything bb. I love you forever and always. Trying not to cry in the terminal, but it’s hard to be happy without knowing I’ll see you again. Even harder because I don’t know how much pain you’re carrying or how or if I can help. I brought my prayer mat and that verse or surah my brother got us. It takes up a lot of luggage space, but I’m trying anything to keep favorite with Allah and continue trying to be a better Muslim. I bought a nice Quran to take with me too. And of course, the ring, which I’ll wear regardless. I want to be better, and I want to always try. I pray it’s true, and Allah lets you see it. Please be happy, please be okay. I want to talk to you so badly. I don’t wanna make a misstep and reach out if it bothers you, fingers crossed February, inshaAllah. Love, yours
Read more

Ramadan Mubarak

 Dearest Love, Ramadan Mubarak! InshaAllah you are doing well, staying on the deen, and finding happiness. I pray this Ramadan is easier for you. I'm so sorry that I was not more supportive during our Ramadan's together. In those times I was so unhealthy with my diet, mind, body that I did not respect how difficult it was for a normal person like yourself. I'm sorry for not being a better partner for you. I want to lift you up and help you through your problems, not shrug them off and pretend like you're strange and I'm fine. Now that I am maintaining a healthier lifestyle I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about fasting. Focusing on muscle growth, I'm afraid I won't be able to continue working out and get my calories. I've made a plan, though, may Allah allow me on the right path.  For this Ramadan I want to start doing some Sunnah prayers, and making extra duaa for you. I hope this year the burden isn't as strong as it once was. I wish...
Read more

Irony

 Assalammu Alaikum dearest beloved, I'm now mostly settled into my new place, though there are a few small things I want, and one major thing I want (hint: you). InshAllah you are doing well. I'm so happy to see you posting music again. You're so talented and gifted. The internet, and the world, is a better place with your voice in it. I hope seeing my name liking your videos does not cause you too much distress. If you do have seen it, thank you for not blocking me. I wish I could share your videos with my students. Seeing a strong Muslim woman like yourself being unafraid to express herself would inspire them. I still tell people I'm married.  Irony: I cannot stop seeing how much better it would've been if we had come here instead of Vietnam. I'm sorry I didn't try harder to find a more suitable place for us to go. For one, there is a community of like-minded people; none of the social events have alcohol and there are so many kind Muslims here. It would h...
Read more